I am doing some pro bono work, helping a large nonprofit re-do its employment policies. We were working on bereavement leave, which lets employees take off time when a family member dies. The old policy had the usual suspects for which deaths qualified for leave — a lengthy, mind-numbing list. I raised the issue of nontraditional relationships. We struggled with whether to include gay marriage, significant others, live-ins with a committed relationship but no ring or marriage certificate, and on and on. But rather then debate how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, we settled for common sense and humanity. Here is what is in the works: The nonprofit "realizes that this list is illustrative, not exhaustive, and that there are many nontraditional relationships that can be no less important to our employees. If you believe that bereavement leave is appropriate in your circumstances, please let [designated person] know, and we will work with you." So many employers want to regulate every aspect of the employment relationship, developing a legalistic code for everything that may or can occur. They fear being taken advantage of and looking foolish. Hey, that's life. The world changes, and we must change with it.



